Can I please urge any of you folks who have a couples dating profile on any kind of dating app to understand about trauma before agreeing to bring in an extra person into your constellation.

So let's get right to it : I've been open relating for over 9 years ; I was always in long-term partnerships that were monogam-ish until I consciously made the decision to expand my comfort zone & practice open relating with people in an intentional way.
And it has been quite the journey.
Aaand,
I've also managed to burn myself out, run my nervous system dry - & neglect self-care in favor of being accepted.
I've finally arrived at a beautiful place of acceptance - acceptance for my sensitive nature, for my intricate and delicate needs around communication & re-assurances when riding the wild waters of polyamory.
I have so much compassion for the young one, the tender one, the inner child who simply needs to be reminded that they're not being abandoned.
& because I've had epic partners who can meet me there in the last years, it's been possible for me to feel fulfilled.
However -
Since becoming single, I've had some encounters with folks who are doing open relating - who perhaps really should not be.
Folks who can not show up for empathic, vulnerable & emotionally literate communication should straight-up not be polyamorous.

For the first time in years Ive had someone tell me that 'my need for communication' is a turn off : & I'm here to tell you all, that my need for communication is fucking exquisite and courageous.

To all of the tender beings out there who are showing up in their vulnerable truth, who are doing the work to keep their heart open and to remain wild in an un-wild world,
I fucking see you. And I love you.

Please don't let anyone ever tell you that your needs are not valid.

Don't ever let yourself be judged for being in touch with your boundaries and your needs.
And please,
To all you couples out there looking for a spicy encounter with a unicorn,
Please read up on trauma informed ways of being poly.

May 30, 2020