the urban business myth of consistency is starving your feminine.

a personal journal entry in reflection from the time I’ve been spending in integration since my rebranding…from ELEMENTAL EROS to WILDLY DEVOTIONAL.

THE FEMININE STARVES IN CONSISTENCY & THRIVES IN WILD DEVOTION.

Stop forcing your feminine business into a masculine mould of consistency, that she will never thrive in…

So - if you’re an entrepreneur - especially a femme CEO - you’ve most likely had some sessions with or received advice from business coaches in how to run it all. It can be SO overwhelming running a business - especially if you’re a feminine-essence’d person. Dealing with all of the day-to-day systems of running a business, whilst doing all of the intense self-healing work that necessarily weaves alongside a job as a leader & healer - it’s A LOT, right?

& so, it makes a whole lot of sense to me that there is a desire to simply surrender to the guidance of a business coach who can come in & tell you exactly what to DO to ensure you make money, whilst making that gorgeous impact that you so love to make in the world.

: photos taken from my time immersed in nature in Portugal; where I’ve been drinking the rich & potent medicine of the feminine - learning more emergent ways in which we - as leaders - not only can be magnetic to MORE; more responsibility, more money, more influence - but how we can truly, sustainably, hold all of that in our being.

I -myself - am a feminine AF businesswoman, however; I feel I also have a rebellious libertine spirit, which pulls me to question authorities, get curious about more emergent systems & find more fluid ways of working with power… it’s just my thing.

So here’s my own story with this:-

I got given advice for my business recently, to “avoid rebranding” - I was told it would confuse my clients, I was told not to raise my prices - only do it gradually, I was told to be CONSISTENT with my visuals, my brand, my message, ALL of it.

As a feminine essenced being, I was tempted to just listen to their advice, swallow it, without asking more questions & just play by the business rules - to avoid any drama or disharmony in my business.

I just want peace. I just want things to be easy. That’s the point, right? If I wanted stress, I’d just go work in another job - something that doesn’t feed my soul. But I chose this life - one of feminine leadership & I love having a job that fully supports that; I work for myself, I make my own rules -

this is what a feminine leader needs; to be able to dictate their schedule via their womb & nobody else’s rules.

& of course, as I’m a rebellious soul - when I got this advice I chose to tune-in with myself, with my own inner guidance system - with my intuitive compass ; my womb. To tune-in to what felt in alignment for ME, and what felt like another capitalist narrative being thrust onto me & my business.

I chose not to follow the rulebook. And what followed was nothing short of a breakthrough…

To those of you - like me - who pour their heart & soul into their work, you’ll relate with me when I tell you I was terrified. Nothing has touched me in the way this decision shook me…to ignore the advice, given to me by “7 figure business coaches” on instagram & let my womb dictate the decision for me, instead. This is the reason why;

YOU KNOW WHAT; THIS IS NO SMALL THING.

WOMEN HAVE BEEN COLLECTIVELY HYPNOTISED TO BE IN A CONSTANT STATE OF ‘FREEZE’ ; by not knowing what we want, not trusting our own intuition, not feeling confident to be seen or have our voice heard, not feeling safe to be in position of leadership.

So, when a woman steps into leadership, chooses the wisdom of her womb over the business coaches & trusts her intuition - she unfucks a whole generation of women, a whole collective of women who are stuck in the freeze response.

Can you feel that?

Does this resonate with you? Can you recognise yourself in either position? In the loyal submissive - the one who just wants to follow the rulebook & be disciplined (we’ve been told by society that this is how to de devotional - that we have to sacrifice something to be successful, we’ve been told that devotion means doing what we’re told, beyond what our desires are). Or can you recognise yourself in the soul rebel quality? The one who is always striving for the answers in herself, making an embodied act of resistance by trusting her belly & womb wisdom over the capitalist wisdom of what’s “out there”?

If you’re a feminine-essenced being, you probably have ALL of it going on…

The truth is, the feminine in you - whether you’re a man or a woman or a non binary being - she loves DEVOTION in all forms; she loves being devotional, she loves receiving devotion, she loves being in the field of devotion, she thrives on being in service to love, through devotional embodiment.

SO,

The very concept of devotion has been distorted - we, as women especially, have been sold a toxic narrative of what Devotion is. When we come to learn that Devotion - or, in my world I am calling it 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 , is; we come to know that Devotion actually fosters more freedom, not less.

to be Wildly Devotional to your business, might look like choosing your self care, to ensure that your clients get the absolute best-most-resourced version of you in their sessions. It might mean having someone to do your digital admin for you, so you can stay in your wild, oceanic feminine-feeling body rather than having to be in the masculine all day sat on your computer. It might mean being discerning about what you let in your life, who you let in your life & why; at the sake of staying in the lane of devotion; to yourself & therefore to your ‘work’. It might mean letting GO of anything that robs you of your psychic space. It might mean ignoring that business coach & choosing to listen to your womb instead. It means, letting your ‘essential thing’ - your dharma - be the thing you’re devoted to, but understanding that your pleasure is the primary pathway to your soul-based work (your dharma).

"The wild feminine in your cannot survive on obligation & expectation. She thrives on spontaneity, surprise, and change. She loves knowing she gets to choose."

Have you ever felt really drained all of a sudden, out of ideas, out of inspiration in your work? when you’d usually find yourself full of ideas?

My own tender inquiry on this, is that your feminine (which is the source of your creativity) simply can not thrive in a masculine environment of control, obligation & ‘rules’. She’s fucking rebellious - it’s just her nature. She’s indecisive, and thats beautiful - because she’s the part of you who is always listening to what wants to happen in the moment. If you’re a leader you need her online & thriving, otherwise you’re not able to ‘listen’ fully to what the moment needs. If you’re not able to listen through your feminine, feeling-body - you’ll just be stuck in DO-ing & your clients won’t feel seen or heard, & you will get burnt out too. It won’t nourish you (or her).

When she’s nourished, she’s in full pleasure & presence, nothing else exists but this moment for her. That’s so crucial when in a creative process. That’s why your feminine is the part of you who drops you into that juicy ‘flow state’.

This is simply a non-negotiable for a feminine artist. We need that flow state, infact, we exist IN that flow state.

So my theory is, that when our feminine feels that she “has to” do something she gets drained & goes to sleep in us.

(for example, a business coach once told me to do 1-2 posts every day, go live as much as possible & make sure to ‘provoke’ people with my posts, he told me to schedule posts in advance & make sure I’m extra disciplined in my availability on social media)

Well, at first, my masculine part got really excited by the concept of structure & routine. I felt like I had something to ‘hold’ me. So for the first couple of weeks, it felt enlivening to be of service in this way to my work. I felt like my inner man was really proud of himself. I could almost physically feel the sensation of adrenaline cursing through my veins when I’d tick things off my daily ‘to do’ list. Right? can you relate to that feeling? - All of this is so valid, because, we also do have a masculine part.

The trouble is, when that masculine part gets discipline confused for devotion too, he forgets what he’s there for; he’s not there to help you tick things off your list - he can do that, for sure, & it’s good to know he can help with that if it’s really needed - but, actually, what he’s there for - is: to be wildly fucking devotional to protecting & serving your inner feminine. He’s there to help her feel safe, safe enough so she can come out to play & be creative.

So, back to the story - soon enough, this sensation of ‘holding’ quickly turned into the sensation of suffocation.

Can you relate to that? maybe you’ve been in a relationship with a super disciplined or ‘reliable’ partner & at first you’re like oooof, that’s hot. & eventually you resent them because they’re not romantic or spontaneous enough in bed, or in life, for you. Have you experienced that one?

Well, that’s what happens in your business if you abide by the wounded masculine routines that have been thrust upon us in modern capitalist marketing systems. You eventually get resentful, you get overwhelmed, burnt out & you might even find yourself blaming your work for why you’re not feeling juicy or creative. If you’re not so lucky, you’ll even find yourself in a victim-perpetrator co-dependancy loop in your business relationships.

When the feminine is told to submit - she will, because she initially enjoys it - but if she isn’t in full CHOICE, if she isn’t CHOOSING to surrender, if she doesn’t know any other way, she’ll feel like a victim. Let your masculine guide her where she wants to go, reminding her that she’s safe to lead if she wants to, in any moment.

How does that feel?

Let’s make it a little bit more practical - let this be a big fat permission slip for you: for my fellow femme leaders out there. The next time someone gives you business advice, the next time you feel forced into a structure that doesn’t give full permission to your wild feminine - check in with your inner guidance system. I want you to know that all of the business advice you need, is in you - in your womb & soul - don’t let anything or anyone else dictate to you what your life wants to look like.

As one of my teachers, Katie Abott, tells me: “a good mystic won’t do much with you, she’ll just guide you towards the place that your soul is guiding you to anyways”

So, to all my fellow boss-mystics & success-witches out there, let it be known - there is no dharma out there like yours, you are worthy of being supported - yes - but by other intuitives who will only guide you closer to your own inner compass,

& leaving you with the key…

in wild devotion,

to freedom & belonging

x

Melissa Maya.

ps.if this inspires you to be supported in deeper, soul-based, intuitive ways in your leadership, as we speak, I’m cooking-up a way of supporting femme CEO’s in this business journey of dharma&life. I feel that I’m here to communicate a bridge between these two worlds of sales & soul.

I currently have a 1-1 package for you; being woven inside of me- yet to be birthed - called ‘𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐃’ which will slowly, slowly become available to apply for in the coming months. who knows? only my feminine for now ;)

Please feel called to email me if this truly speaks to you & I’m always happy to support in any way that I can.